We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
