I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
