we have pet lesbian snakes
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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