Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
