Sry I called you an 8
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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