South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize