Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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