he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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