"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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