Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
