i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
