no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
True strength comes from lack of pants
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
