Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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