You don't have asthma, your pregnant
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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