woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I enjoy the company of your penis
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
