I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
