it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
