I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
