i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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