i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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