her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Even my vagina gasped.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
