Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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