I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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