I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day