I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need a beard to bite.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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