Me. At least after what I've been through.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You made out with two different species that night
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes