So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Still dying that you shit outside
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize