People in love make me want to vomit
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
