Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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