Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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