you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
