Quick, to the slutcave!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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