We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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