i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ladies don't puke and tell
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
