my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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