Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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