He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
