I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
