Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize