Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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