i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
