I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
