he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
