Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
