i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my being single is dangerous.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
