doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
