if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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