i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
