i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
