What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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