there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize