Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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