If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
