JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
