Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
