i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
