what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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