im about as happy as oj after his trial
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
