the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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