I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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