Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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