u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
