did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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