First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
