You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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