i barfeds in our rink
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
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