Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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